Absolute Destruction and the Path to Happiness with the Creative me.

     So I just moved to NYC a couple months ago.  Since I was the ripe age of 18 I had this crazy fantasy of becoming a stand up comic.  I liked sports and I kinda wanted to be a professional football player or baseball player or something.  But in today's day in age if your not willing to take a little Human Growth Hormone cocktail or two, then you won't be able to cut the mustard in the big leagues.  Frankly I wasn't prepared for my testicles to get any smaller during this fragile time in my teenage life... So I stayed clear of the sauce.  Now, my options were cut down to either becoming an astronaut or a stand up comedian.  After reading up on both professions I quietly decided that it would best if I figured out how to do this comedy thing.  The problem is their is no clear path to take when choosing this career.  So I figured out that I would start looking for it by joining the Army.  What!?! That's the dumbest thing you could do.  I know.  But it put a couple shingles in my pocket and gave me a couple adventures to tell my kiddo's.  Ok,  so, four years after running around Iraq like a god damn cowboy.  I land here in NYC.  The city that never sleeps or some sh*t.  And I absolutly love it.  probably should have done this a couple years ago.

      So I landed/crash landed at my one of my good buddies pads down on Houston street.  LES, alphabet,  I don't know somewhere on the bottom right.  I spend the first two months trying to get adjusted to my surroundings.  This is a huge city.  I can really haul some a$$, so I begin just walking all over the bottom half of this thing.  I got Coyote Ugly, Duane Reade (I thought it was a book store, like damn this NY hipsters really love reading), some banging taco trucks, some of the most beautiful women in the world (who as of yet, want absolutley nothing to do with me; at least until I sell a joke or two),  and I have some really revolutionary Rock & Roll music being created right before my eyes.

  Good stuff, I'm in good shape here.   Ok so I went and got my self a job.  I do security for Bowery Presents as I said before. 

Ok, now I have some cash flow rolling thru.  Not much, but enough to go to the local watering hole and not have to drink the cheap shelf.  I needed something else. hmmm.  I'll go check out school's.  After being thouroghly rejected from every institution of higher education in the Tri-State area I choose TCI college of technology.  I chose TCI because it was the only university that would accept me with my very decorated past (I regret nothing, alright I can't seem to shake that donkey show in mexico away).  Now the funny thing is... I really, really like it here.  The schedule is perfect for me.  My curreculum is keeping me interested.  I'm doing photoshop, blogging, I have some Illustrator going on.  I am even doing a little drawing.  Teachers are cool.  It's all good.  The next step is to get some stage time.  Do some reading and fit in a little writing.
    I mentioned in my earlier post that I moved a lot.  So, it's funny when I first move somewhere I always have to introduce myself.  So when I start doing Stand-up in a new place.  I have to hit the bald jokes real hard.  When I was about 12 years old I acquired this condition called Alopecia Universalis
.  Nobody really knows why but I quickly lost all the hair on my body.  It was pretty wild part of my life and I really didn't know how to react.  I eventually figured out how to handle it and really started to embrace it.  I hear they have the cure for it now.  I would never, really want something like that.  It really has become such a part of me, I would be practically selling out if even put a wig on.  So I move to a new town tell a couple jokes about how I can sleep with anybody because I'm immune to Crabs, just so everybody can get their kicks and figured me out little bit.  Then I can move on and really start settiling into my zone.  Right now I'm still doing jokes about crabs treating my body like a wet water park, but soon I'll get past this whole shtick.  Get to some real substance ya know.
    In the meantime I'm comfortable at where I'm at in my first couple months living in NYC.  I have to stay focused and understand that I'm not going to be completely comfortable for the next year or two.  I'm going to take some lumps.  Take some rejection.  Probably have my heart broken.  Probably break somebody's heart.  But then this whole plan is going to evolve into a wonderful experience.  I understand what I'm capable of once I get really comfortable and get in that zone. I've been there.  I've been really dialed in.  I crave that feeling.  It's my drug of choice.   I just would rather get their as fast as I can.  I really have a lot more substance to me then bald weiner jokes.  


Sincerely
Trevor $heaffer